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A Story About The Body

by Exsanguinated Shade

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1.
2.
A Body Built By Blood My hand grips the edges of the coffin, blood trickles down into the ground. My eyes are finally opened. Eternity found. Where once I craved death, now I merely yearn for that sweet sanguine liquid which runs through your bones. Reborn, I now feel whole, the moon beckoning to me. Its mistress, the sun, was never a friend to me. She'd hide among the clouds leaving darkness in her wake, and no matter how I begged, the shadows I could not shake. So trapped I felt in my mortal body, longing for the end, when really all I needed was to start again. I bring your flesh to my lips, as I hear your final moan You reach out to my face, begging me to let go. "You will return to the earth," I whisper in your ear, as your eyes roll back in your head, no longer filled with fear. On the brink of the following night, you will return to me, a blood-starved, gasping specter, longing for reprieve.
3.
A Body Built By the Earth My limbs are made out of weeds, which bleed into the earth, like a clawing, craving worm. I cannot get out. I'm trapped in the ground. The thorns in my side attach themselves to the soil, spreading apart my battered bones. I have to get out. I wrap a filthy hand around my bleeding arm and force it from the ground, tearing it apart. The weeds morph into petals, which turn pink and decay. They crumble upon the ground, and the wind blows them away. Until you learn to speak The language of the soil Until your tongue learns to dance While roots fill your mouth You will bleed like a sacrament The flawed vessel of your body A damaged offering to silence A voice that might not be Folding hands that barely seem Feel the coarseness of the loam Like a lover’s touch against your cheek As the roots coil around your lungs The more you fight it The faster you will Give in to despair Embrace the thought of nothing Cry out to St. Dymphna But she’s not there You are not You are alone (You are not you) I look to my other arm, also trapped in the ground. A smile forms upon my face, hopelessness familiar and warm. The blood is spilling out of the hole where the weeds used to be, but all I feel now is the sun surrounding me.
4.
A Body Built By Worms I open my eyes to darkness. My head is detached from my body. Worms are digging themselves into my neck, creating new homes among the emptiness. Soon, I am able to move - fingers writhing and creeping as they begin to tear through the dirt. I am greeted by moonlight, as I burst out from the ground. The worms that make up my hands and knees crawl, as I do the same, making my way through the cemetery. I pause to contemplate my new body, made of worms. Fully alive, I am reincarnated. I stand and consume the light from the moon before exiting the home of my grave. With eyes which now fully see, I stumble on my breathing legs into a garden filled with other bugs, like me. I fall down into the soil, take some of it in my hands and place it into my mouth. My new life is complete.
5.
A Body Built By Death The stench of oak fills my lungs, as I find myself trapped inside a wall, no memory of how I arrived. I force my way to the other side, and find myself face to face with you. Only you don't see me, and, unblinking, turn away from me. You sit at your desk, a letter in hand. Written at the top, my name. A sigh, as you place it down among the heap of other letters, my name scribbled atop the page, with nothing else to see. Just as when I was alive, you have nothing to say to me. Always so cold and empty, you'd draw me in, then spit me out just as easily. The last hug you gave me was hollow as your words. And even in death, you find a way to break me. Your last gift to me is one final disappointment. You've let me down for the last time. I'm giving up on you now.

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Limited Edition CS available from Realm + Ritual:
realmandritual.bandcamp.com/album/a-story-about-the-body

$2 from each digital sale will be donated to RAINN.

credits

released November 27, 2020

Exsanguinated Shade is:

CICATRIX || All Instruments + Music, Additional Vocals + Lyrics
on "A Body Built By The Earth"
ESPI KVLT || Vocals + Lyrics

Mastering: Dan Dolby

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Exsanguinated Shade

Gothic Blackgaze from IN + CA

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